Girling

Surprise! We already do! And somehow I’m not talking about the wage gap.

In 1989, Arlie Hochschild and Anne Machung released a book called The Second Shift, which shed light on something women have known for decades- taking care of the home and family is “women’s work.” A holdover from the days before second wave feminism, when women almost exclusively took care of the home while men were paid workers, the deeply entrenched stereotypes of women’s responsibilities as de facto caregivers have overstayed their welcome long after the normalization of women holding full time jobs. The Second Shift discusses how after women finish their “first shift” during the work day, they come home to a “second shift” that includes everything from cleaning and cooking to taking care of children and grandparents. 

But Noelle! That book is from the 80s! We’ve come so far since then, men are caregivers too! 

Women in the US spend about four hours a day doing unpaid work

So true, bestie. However, men are not asked to fill these same roles with the same urgency or sense of obligation as women. In fact, women in the US spend about four hours a day doing unpaid work (like caregiving, cooking, and cleaning) while men in the US only spend about two hours a day on unpaid work. (And not for nothing, this is an improvement from when organizations first started tracking this kind of thing in the 1960s. At that time, men spent no time on unpaid work at all.) Additionally, not only are women expected to take on this unpaid work, but we’re supposed to be happy to do it. Could you imagine the societal shame you would receive if you were put out by the thought of having to feed and bathe your child at the end of the workday??

The hours spent on unpaid work add up. Women’s unpaid work in 2020 was estimated to total over $10 trillion. And I’m sorry to say, but this is a big reason why organizations such as OECD started paying attention – unpaid work is an economic loss. That means that in addition to negatively affecting women’s physical and mental health (when is there time to take care of yourself??), the unequal distribution of unpaid labor negatively impacts women’s earning capacity (you want me to work late?? I have four hours of cleaning to do at home) as well as a country’s overall GDP. 

Unpaid work is an economic loss

SO, because women historically held domestic responsibilities, they are still expected to take on those same duties on top of their paid work and continue to do it for free. Women’s paid and unpaid work negatively impacts their health as well as their ability to elevate their career and their social position. Things are getting better, but this is still a major source of gender inequity today. 

Note: The concept of the second shift also ties into the unequal distribution of child rearing responsibilities, paid parental leave, breastfeeding accommodations, etc. but people write textbooks on this connection and I know we all have other things to get back to. 

I’m 25. I’m just starting out in my career and I do not have the resources to take care of another person- I barely manage to take care of my studio apartment. These are simple facts. For me, as a childless woman living alone, unpaid work looks like bringing my boyfriend soup when he’s sick, helping my elderly neighbor with her groceries, coaching a friend through a career crisis, or helping plan someone’s wedding because I know they have a busy schedule. In theory these activities may sound voluntary, but for women, they are often expected. And, despite my lack of capacity to take on a second shift, I still feel the pressure to complete this unpaid work and I feel like I am neglecting my responsibilities if I prioritize myself the way I feel a man my age would. 

Note: If you’d like to read about what I consider a fun example of women neglecting their second shift responsibilities, check out Iceland’s Long Friday.

So my parting questions are these: Why do I feel guilty for not doing something that I neither want to do nor have the resources to do? Would a man feel that way like ever? 

Is there something you do as part of your second shift? How can we more evenly distribute the work?

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